Welcome!

Welcome to Star Wars (for beginners)! We here at SW(fb) (just me, in my mother's basement), are hard at work providing you with a guidebook to the Star Wars universe. And who are you? You, my friend (will you be my friend?) are someone who doesn't know much about Star Wars. Indeed, you find the whole fascination with a fictional universe beneath you; however, among your acquaintances are a few--dare I say--nerds who can go on at length about Star Wars, and you find yourself left out of the conversation. You, finding Star Wars silly and childish, are fine being left out most of the time. But occasionally (admit it) you wonder what they are talking about. Wonder no more! Here at SW(fb), we (again, it's my mother's basement, and it's just me) have compiled a handy site where you can quickly and easily find out what your nerd-friends are discussing. Please browse the list for everything (a non-nerd like yourself) will ever need, from simple definitions of Star Wars terms to "great" Star Wars debates.

A

A-wing starfighter

Ackbar, Admiral

Admiral Ackbar (see Ackbar, Admiral)

Admiral Ozzel (see Ozzel, Admiral)

Airspeeder

Biggs Darklighter (see Darklighter, Biggs)

Alderaan

All Terrain Armored Transport (see AT-AT)

All Terrain Scout Transport (see AT-ST)

Alliance to Restore Freedom to the Galaxy, the (see Rebel Alliance, the)

Alliance to Restore the Republic, the (see Rebel Alliance, the)

Amidala, Padmé

Anakin Skywalker (see Skywalker, Anakin)

Anakin Solo (see Solo, Anakin)

Antilles, Wedge

Aqualish

Artoo-Detoo (see R2-D2)

AT-AT

AT-ST

Aunt Beru (see Lars, Beru)

B

B-wing starfighter

Bail Organa (see Organa, Bail)

Bantha

Battle of Endor

Battle of Hoth

Battle of Yavin

Ben Kenobi (see Kenobi, Obi-Wan)

Ben Skywalker (see Skywalker, Ben)

Bespin

Bib Fortuna (see Fortuna, Bib)

Biggs Darklighter (see Darklighter, Biggs)

Binary star system

Bith

Blaster pistol (see Blaster rifle)

Blaster rifle

Boba Fett (see Fett, Boba)

Bothan

Bounty hunter

Bowcaster

C

C-3PO

Calrissian, Lando

Carbonite

Chewbacca

Chewie (see Chewbacca)

Chicken walker (see AT-ST)

Clavin, Cliff

Cliff Clavin (see Clavin, Cliff)

Clone Wars

Cloud City

Corellia

Coruscant

Credits

D

Dagobah

Dack (see Ralter, Dack)

Dantooine

Dark Jedi

Dark Lord of the Sith (see Sith, the)

Dark side of the Force (see Force, the)

Darklighter, Biggs

Darth Vader

Darth Vader’s TIE fighter

Death Star

Death Star II

DL-44

Droid

E

Echo Base

Emperor, the (see Palpatine, Emperor)

Emperor Palpatine

Empire, the (see Galactic Empire, the)

Endor

Enterprise

Episodes I, II, and III

Escape pod

Ewok

Executor
Expanded Universe

F

fftssfft

Fisto, Kit

Force, the

G

Galactic Civil War, the

Galactic Empire, the

Galactic Republic, the

Gamorrean

George Lucas (see Lucas, George)

Gonk droid

Grand Moff

Grand Moff Tarkin (see Tarkin, Grand Moff)

Greedo

“Greedo shot first”

Gungan

H

“Han shot first” “controversy”

Han Solo (see Solo, Han)

Hoth

Human

Humanoid

Hutt

Hutt, Jabba the (see Jabba the Hutt)

Hyperdrive

Hyperspace

I

IG-88

Imperial Navy

Imperial-class Star Destroyer

Ion cannon

Ithorian

J

Jabba the Hutt

Jacen Solo (see Solo, Jacen)

Jade, Mara

Jaina Solo (see Solo, Jaina)

Japor snippet

Jar-Jar Binks
Jar-Jar Debacle, the

Jawa

Jedi, the
Jedi, plural form of

Jek Porkins (see Porkins, Jek)

Jinn, Qui-Gon

K

Kamino

Kashyyyk

Kessel

Kessel Run

Ki-Adi-Mundi

Kit Fisto (see Fisto, Kit)

L

Lambda-class shuttle

Landspeeder

Lando Calrissian (see Calrissian, Lando)

Lars, Beru

Lars, Owen

Laser cannon

Leia Organa (see Organa, Leia)

Light side of the Force (see Force, the)

Lightsaber

Lucas, George

Luke Skywalker (see Skywalker, Luke)

M

Mace Windu (see Windu, Mace)

Mandalorian

Mara Jade (see Jade, Mara)

“May the Force be with you”

Millennium Falcon

Moff

Moisture vaporator

Mon Cal cruiser

Mon Calamari

Mon Mothma (see Mothma, Mon)

Moons of Mongo

Mos Eisley

N

Naboo

Neimodian

O

Obi-Wan Kenobi (see Kenobi, Obi-Wan)

Oil bath

Old Republic (see Galactic Republic)

Order 66

Organa, Leia

Owen Lars (see Lars, Owen)

Ozzel, Admiral

P

Padawan

Padmé Amidala (see Amidala, Padmé)

Palpatine, Emperor

Photon torpedo

Pit of Carkoon (see Sarlacc, the)

Podracer

Porkins, Jek

Princess Leia (see Organa, Leia)

Protocol droid

Proton torpedo

Q

Quarren

Qui-Gon Jinn (see Jinn, Qui-Gon)

Queen Amidala (see Amidala, Padmé)

R

R2-D2

Ralter, Dack

Rancor

Realspace

Rebel Blockade Runner (see Tantive IV)

Rebellion, the (see Rebel Alliance, the)

Rebel Alliance, the

Rebels (see Rebel Alliance, the)

Republic, the (see Galactic Republic, the)

Rodian

Rogue Squadron

S

Sabacc

Sandpeople (see Tusken Raider)

Sarlacc, the

See Threepio (see C-3PO)

Scout trooper

Senate, the

Sith, the

Skywalker, Ben

Skywalker, Luke

Skywalker, Mara Jade (see Jade, Mara)

Solo, Han

Solo, Jacen

Solo, Jaina

Solo, Leia Organa (see Organa, Leia)

Speeder bike

Star Destroyer

Star Wars

Starfighter

Stormtrooper

Stun setting

Super Star Destroyer

T

Tarkin, Grand Moff

Tatooine

Tauntaun

TIE bomber

TIE fighter

TIE interceptor

Tractor beam

Trandoshan

Turbolaser

Tusken Raider

U

Ugnaught

Uncle Owen (see Lars, Owen)

V

Vaporator (see Moisture vaporator)

W

Wampa

Wedge Antilles (see Antilles, Wedge)

Wicket

Wilhuf Tarkin (see Tarkin, Grand Moff)

Wookie

X

X-34 landspeeder

X-wing starfighter

XP-38 landspeeder

Y

Y-wing starfighter

Yavin IV

Yoda

YT-1300 (see Millennium Falcon)

Z

Grand Moff

A rank in the Empire, of greater degree than Moff.

Moff

A rank in the Empire, of lesser degree than Grand Moff.

B-wing starfighter

This:














Why is it called a B-wing when it is clearly a "T" lying on its side? We ask ourselves that question every morning, right before we try to drown our loneliness in drink.

Someone who knows way too much about this sort of thing might tell you that the B-wing starfighter is a swing-wing bomber designed by Admiral Ackbar and the Verpine; the rotating-cockpit design makes the ship unwieldy to maneuver, but the B-wing packs enough firepower to go after a capital class ship, and they made their debut at the Battle of Endor. However, we don't know that much about it, so we'll content ourselves with saying that it should be called a T-wing.

Organa, Leia

The feisty senator from Alderaan, Princess Leia Organa joined the Rebel Alliance at a young age. She was captured by Darth Vader and brought aboard the Death Star, where she was forced to watch the destruction of her homeworld.

Hello, cameraman. Are you busy later?

Princess Leia was rescued by Luke Skywalker and Han Solo (and Chewbacca!), and they were instrumental in bringing about the destruction of the Death Star. And the second Death Star. Also, Leia made out with Luke to make Han jealous, and yet as far as we know, none of them ever mentioned this fact after Luke revealed that Leia was his twin sister.

Expanded Universe spoiler!
Princess Leia and Han Solo marry and live happily ever after. And by that we mean the rest of their lives were filled with war and sadness. They had three children: Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin. Anakin died fighting a war. Jacen turned to the Dark Side and started a war. He was killed by his twin sister, Jaina.

We are legally obligated to post this picture

Expanded Universe

*Full disclosure: we here at SW(fb) are fans of the Expanded Universe.*

The EU is the European Union, a poorly-thought-out-never-had-a-snowball's-chance-to-succeed cobbling together of disparate European nations. For the purposes of this blog, however, it refers to the Expanded Universe, the officially licensed Star Wars tales that go beyond the films (but not fan fiction--a pox on all their houses). The Expanded Universe is considered non-canon by some hardcore fans (usually those who cannot read). Including cartoons, TV specials, comic books, children's stories, and novels, the EU sparks controversy on a daily basis. Usually along lines like this:

Nerd 1: "The Death Star was the most powerful weapon ever. The Emperor would have won if he'd finished the second one."

Nerd 2: "Nuh-uh. The Galaxy Gun could blow up planets through hyperspace."

Nerd 1: "The Galaxy Gun isn't real! That was from those little kid books."

Nerd 2: "Okay, then what about the Sun Crusher? That could make any star go nova and destroy an entire system. Remember how Kyp Durron destroyed the Carida sytem?"

Nerd 1: "You're right. I forgot about the Sun Crusher."

Non-nerd Star Wars tip: When you are listening to your acquaintances arguing over Star Wars minutiae, and they attempt to draw you in, merely ask them their opinion on the Expanded Universe. While they begin a new argument amongst themselves, you may quietly slip away.

The Jar-Jar Debacle

Ask any fan of Star Wars (over the age of fifteen) what the worst thing about the Star Wars prequels is. Nine out of ten fans will tell you the same thing: Jar-Jar Binks. (The other ten percent of fans merely sit in the corner of their padded cells, rocking back and forth while weeping gently over their plundered childhood memories.)

Let it out, man. Let it out.

The classic trilogy had moments of humor: Princess Leia's wry observation of Han Solo's bravery when she sees his ship ("You flew in that thing? You're braver than I thought"), Han's attempt at placating the Death Star guards over the intercom ("Boring conversation anyway"), Luke Sywalker and Leia's shared incestuous kiss, Luke getting his hand severed . . . the laughs keep rolling. The prequel trilogy . . . well, see for yourself.



We actually found this French-dubbed version less obnoxious than the original "English" Mr. Binks regularly speaks in. Jar-Jar is an over-the-top cartoon character who should simply not exist in this decidedly not-for-children universe:



Is Jar-Jar responsible for millions of Star Wars fans' hatred of the Star Wars prequels? He's at least a key component.

Han Shot First / Greedo Shot First

In 1977, audiences were blown away (pun!) when they saw space-smuggler Han Solo shoot a bounty hunter named Greedo. Greedo never even saw it coming--Solo blasted him from under the table. "Cold-blooded," audiences murmured admiringly.



Twenty years later, fans were treated to this:



This change has caused no end of grief to nerds everywhere.

Alderaan

Alderaan is the planet Princess Leia calls home. Or, rather, she did call it home, until this happened:



The planet was "blowed up" (as the kids say) by Grand Moff Tarkin, using the Death Star, in a measure to coerce Princess Leia into giving up the location of the Rebels. Defeated, Leia admitted the Rebels were located on Dantooine (they weren't). Tarkin decided to blow up Alderaan anyway. You know, because it's funny. Princess Leia protested, declaring "Alderaan is peaceful--they have no weapons." Alas, we have only the Princess's word to go by, and, judging by her prowess with weapons, she may have been lying about that, too.

A-wing starfighter

This:














Nerds will point out that that the A-wing starfighter is a very very fast, lightly shielded interceptor armed with two swiveling laser cannons and a pair of concussion missile launchers, and made its debut in Return of the Jedi. We will not point out any of these things.

Ackbar, Admiral

This guy.













Leader of the Rebellion's fleet in Return of the Jedi, he has gained internet-meme fame for pointing out that it's a trap.

Skywalker, Luke

Luke Skywalker is the hero of Star Wars. He moves from being a whiny teenager--



to being a whiny early-twenty-something--



to being a whiny middle-twenty-something.



(Granted, I'd probably whine a little bit, too, if I were being electrocuted.)

Okay, briefly, Luke is being raised by his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Owen's grumpy. Beru's nice (but only behind his back, from what we can see). Luke has dreams of leaving his uncle's moisture farm on Tatooine and joining the Academy. Instead, stormtroopers murder his aunt and uncle, and a senile old man, Obi-Wan Kenobi, drags Luke into the Galactic Civil War. Luke decides he wants to become a Jedi "like [his] father." He blows up the first Death Star, fights Darth Vader, loses a hand, learns his father is Darth Vader (ex post facto spoiler alert!), decides to save his father, almost kills his father, almost gets killed instead, and becomes a Jedi knight during the adventure. Easy, right?

Oh, he also learns Princess Leia is his sister, after this:



Family reunions? Awkward.

Expanded Universe Spoiler Alert!

Luke, being the "last" of the Jedi, scours the galaxy to find new people to train. He finds, like, dozens of Jedi who had been hiding, which we find odd. Anyway, Luke becomes the Grand Master of the new Jedi and fights to save the galaxy (still?) from various threats. Along the way, he falls in love with several women, to ease the pain of losing his sister to his best friend (we guess). One of them stays alive long enough to marry him! Her name is Mara Jade, and she is a former Imperial assassin once determined to kill Luke. Ah, young love. They have a son, Ben. Then she dies (although not in childbirth--that would be ridiculous). Luke is sad.

Starfighter

It's a jet fighter . . . in space. Indeed, this is how science fiction works. Take a common household item, like, say, a toaster, or a belt.. Now, add a suitable science fiction prefix--"space," "star," and "laser" being the most common--and presto! You now have a "space toaster" or a "laser belt." This is science fiction. To make your new term more spacetastic, combine the two words into one, as Star Wars did with starfighter.

Pictured: every gamer's deepest fantasy